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Monday, October 11, 2010


right now...
i'm wishing this would all go away,
that i didn't feel this way,
that you did.

i'm wishing i wasn't wishing
because i should be grateful
for what i have
but i'm a bit of a spoiled brat
and can't be satisfied with everything
in front of me.

i'm wishing i didn't have to go to school tomorrow
actually, i'm wishing that i
didn't have to go to biology
because i quite like english.
i'm wishing that i'd stop wishing i didn't
have to go to school tomorrow because i know
in the back of my head
that there are millions of people in this world
who would give anything
just to go to school.

i'm wishing
i'm wishing
i'm wishing...


Wednesday, August 4, 2010

my ultimate high ♥

no boys for me.
not right now,
not in this town.
'cause i've got all i need
right here within my reach.

i've got my girls.
i hope they know they got me
to be behind them,
and squeeze their internal organs out
in an honest-to-God beautiful hug.
i hope they know that everytime
we hug like that,
i really don't want to let go.
i hope all the tears they shed are happy ones
because dry eyes aren't healthy 24/7.

pretty faces, all i see
and i hope that one day,
we might just give up the pretense
of not seeing ourselves as beautiful.
'cause baby don't you know you are?
you are.
and so am i.
otherwise we wouldn't be here,
i don't think.

so i hope that when you read this,
a smile spreads across your face.
maybe a tear falls,
and maybe you're laughing,
even though i'm not that funny.

the point is,
i don't need no shiny things,
no cutie boy on my arm.
'cause i got what i need,
just me and my girls.
just being with you
gives me my ultimate high. ♥

drowning alone

Slowly my world starts to fall
My patience runs out
Anger takes over me
Where there is no one to listen
My heart gripes in my chest
My stomach knots in pain

You promised you would never leave me in pain
And here I am, alone to fall
Unable to bear the pain in my chest
Because now you’ve shut me out
You said you were here to listen
Now no one’s holding me

You said you loved me
Enough to cause me no pain
All there is to hear is the rain fall
All I want to do is cry out
The sadness throbs in my chest

The burn grows sharper in my chest
Without you, I’m not me
My desire to live runs out
Along comes a new pain
Now you’re not here to catch me when I fall
I still dream you’re here to listen

It’s hard not to listen
To the pain throbbing in my chest
The pain is so great I’m about to fall
The me that was before you left is no longer me
Drowned in pain
Someone! Pull me out!

My memory is fading out
Still no one here to listen
Slowly, dies away the pain in my chest
I am no longer me
Alone, I fall
There is nowhere left to fall, time has ran out

You never loved me, not enough to listen
 All you did was cause me pain

i believe

I believe in the power of music
The strength of words
The guidance of the stars
The commitment to do something
The words of the bible
But the belief that every woman
Needs a man is just ridiculous
I believe in the power of love
I believe in supporting others
I believe in hope
Courtesy, Independence, Dedication
And I believe in giving everything my all

happily ever after

Promise me I'll never be alone
Promise to love me until the end of eternity
Promise to be there
Forever and Always
Now, here I sit years later
Without you
All your broken promises
Whipping my heart
Like a cold bitter wind
I need a miracle
To be able to live
Once again
This time
I'll be without you
Promise to love everything about me
Promise to listen
Promise to comfort me
Promise to be my knight in shining armour
Your ears were flooded with the sound of your own voice
Your words were more harsh than a bitter wind
There was a chink in your armour
And no light in your heart
Now, here I sit
Happier than ever
I'm without you
But there is no pain
Instead, I sing and I dance
I don't need to dream
Because my dreams are right in front of me
The sun is high in my sky
And the stars are bright in my heart
I'm finally living my Happily Ever After

always needed you

I can't turn around
My pulse quickens
My heart throbs
My legs fly beneath me
Moving faster than the rest of me
I can't keep up anymore
Your sudden mood changes
Drive me insane
You give me no choice;
I have to keep running
I've run into a dead end
I'm all alone.
It's over.
I fought.
And I lost.
And so I'm not running anymore.
Come and take me
I've lost the will to keep going
And now I need you.
I always needed you.
Why did I leave?
I always needed you.
That was stupid of me.
I always needed you.
Why didn't I see?
I always needed you.
Why did I keep running?
That doesn't matter now.
I can see it clearly now
I always needed you
I always will.
No matter how hard I try to fight it,
I will always need you


The world is quiet.
But it has much to say.
Keeping secrets that slowly accumulate.
That slowly make the world we once knew,
A mystery.
Even to us,
The world is not anything but unknown.
Unknown to us.
How do we live?
How do we live,
When everything we know
Is everything we're not sure of?
How do we live,
When we don't know who we are?
How do we find out who we are,
When we don't know where to start looking?
How do we find out where to look,
When what we thought we knew,
Is nothing but a stranger?
I guess it's just all part of the Mystery.
Life's mystery.
I guess we'll never know.
I guess we'll never figure it out.
But maybe someday,