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Monday, October 11, 2010


right now...
i'm wishing this would all go away,
that i didn't feel this way,
that you did.

i'm wishing i wasn't wishing
because i should be grateful
for what i have
but i'm a bit of a spoiled brat
and can't be satisfied with everything
in front of me.

i'm wishing i didn't have to go to school tomorrow
actually, i'm wishing that i
didn't have to go to biology
because i quite like english.
i'm wishing that i'd stop wishing i didn't
have to go to school tomorrow because i know
in the back of my head
that there are millions of people in this world
who would give anything
just to go to school.

i'm wishing
i'm wishing
i'm wishing...


Wednesday, August 4, 2010

my ultimate high ♥

no boys for me.
not right now,
not in this town.
'cause i've got all i need
right here within my reach.

i've got my girls.
i hope they know they got me
to be behind them,
and squeeze their internal organs out
in an honest-to-God beautiful hug.
i hope they know that everytime
we hug like that,
i really don't want to let go.
i hope all the tears they shed are happy ones
because dry eyes aren't healthy 24/7.

pretty faces, all i see
and i hope that one day,
we might just give up the pretense
of not seeing ourselves as beautiful.
'cause baby don't you know you are?
you are.
and so am i.
otherwise we wouldn't be here,
i don't think.

so i hope that when you read this,
a smile spreads across your face.
maybe a tear falls,
and maybe you're laughing,
even though i'm not that funny.

the point is,
i don't need no shiny things,
no cutie boy on my arm.
'cause i got what i need,
just me and my girls.
just being with you
gives me my ultimate high. ♥

drowning alone

Slowly my world starts to fall
My patience runs out
Anger takes over me
Where there is no one to listen
My heart gripes in my chest
My stomach knots in pain

You promised you would never leave me in pain
And here I am, alone to fall
Unable to bear the pain in my chest
Because now you’ve shut me out
You said you were here to listen
Now no one’s holding me

You said you loved me
Enough to cause me no pain
All there is to hear is the rain fall
All I want to do is cry out
The sadness throbs in my chest

The burn grows sharper in my chest
Without you, I’m not me
My desire to live runs out
Along comes a new pain
Now you’re not here to catch me when I fall
I still dream you’re here to listen

It’s hard not to listen
To the pain throbbing in my chest
The pain is so great I’m about to fall
The me that was before you left is no longer me
Drowned in pain
Someone! Pull me out!

My memory is fading out
Still no one here to listen
Slowly, dies away the pain in my chest
I am no longer me
Alone, I fall
There is nowhere left to fall, time has ran out

You never loved me, not enough to listen
 All you did was cause me pain

i believe

I believe in the power of music
The strength of words
The guidance of the stars
The commitment to do something
The words of the bible
But the belief that every woman
Needs a man is just ridiculous
I believe in the power of love
I believe in supporting others
I believe in hope
Courtesy, Independence, Dedication
And I believe in giving everything my all

happily ever after

Promise me I'll never be alone
Promise to love me until the end of eternity
Promise to be there
Forever and Always
Now, here I sit years later
Without you
All your broken promises
Whipping my heart
Like a cold bitter wind
I need a miracle
To be able to live
Once again
This time
I'll be without you
Promise to love everything about me
Promise to listen
Promise to comfort me
Promise to be my knight in shining armour
Your ears were flooded with the sound of your own voice
Your words were more harsh than a bitter wind
There was a chink in your armour
And no light in your heart
Now, here I sit
Happier than ever
I'm without you
But there is no pain
Instead, I sing and I dance
I don't need to dream
Because my dreams are right in front of me
The sun is high in my sky
And the stars are bright in my heart
I'm finally living my Happily Ever After

always needed you

I can't turn around
My pulse quickens
My heart throbs
My legs fly beneath me
Moving faster than the rest of me
I can't keep up anymore
Your sudden mood changes
Drive me insane
You give me no choice;
I have to keep running
I've run into a dead end
I'm all alone.
It's over.
I fought.
And I lost.
And so I'm not running anymore.
Come and take me
I've lost the will to keep going
And now I need you.
I always needed you.
Why did I leave?
I always needed you.
That was stupid of me.
I always needed you.
Why didn't I see?
I always needed you.
Why did I keep running?
That doesn't matter now.
I can see it clearly now
I always needed you
I always will.
No matter how hard I try to fight it,
I will always need you


The world is quiet.
But it has much to say.
Keeping secrets that slowly accumulate.
That slowly make the world we once knew,
A mystery.
Even to us,
The world is not anything but unknown.
Unknown to us.
How do we live?
How do we live,
When everything we know
Is everything we're not sure of?
How do we live,
When we don't know who we are?
How do we find out who we are,
When we don't know where to start looking?
How do we find out where to look,
When what we thought we knew,
Is nothing but a stranger?
I guess it's just all part of the Mystery.
Life's mystery.
I guess we'll never know.
I guess we'll never figure it out.
But maybe someday,

sweet heaven sent

my head spins
my heart throbs in my chest.
i'm so lost in this world.
i don't know where i am.

my heart is torn
and my head, confused.
i don't know what to do
God, help me, will you?

though my heart aches
and my mind is lost,
there is one thing for certain
i know will always remain.

you are always there for me
as you have been in the past
and as i know in my heart
you will continue to be.

through thick and thin,
you've been my ray of sun
For better or for worse,
you've been the true one.

until the end,
i see your face
smiling at me
with your sparkling eyes

again i must say
there is no greater life than to be with you
The perfect song for you says
'God Have A Little More Time On You'
and i must say again
how that is perfectly true

you are my sweet heaven sent,
my guardian angel
my best friend
and there is nothing more i could ask for.

there is nothing worse for me
than to see you cry
or to be apart from you
sometimes it just helps to know
that in the end,
we'll be together eventually

the mirror



Falling  farther still.

Just when I seem
To have reached the
Most Unbearable,
Point of my life,
There is a light.

A light.
So bright,
And yet,
So soft.

It shimmers in brilliance
and at the same time,
It bathes me in warmth.
I have found the will to believe again.
In the light
I believe

There is
In my world
Once Again.

That light,
My sweet friend,
Is You.

take time to realize

i realized something some hours ago
it's that we're never gonna let go.
looking into your eyes
and feeling the tears that needed no prompt to come
i realized that.
i love you so much
there are no words that can tell you that
uncontrolled smiles when i see you
uncontrolable tears when you leave me
but we never leave each other really
we're just far apart
but our hearts can't take that
each moment together passes like wind
and each speck of time apart drags on

don't tell me you love me

Don't tell me you love me
I already know
Don't tell me you love me
I can hear it in the breeze
Don't tell me you love me
I can smell it in the pine trees
don't tell me you love me
I can see it in the light in your eyes
Don't tell me you love me
I can taste it in the sweetness of your kiss
Don't tell me you love me
I can feel it everytime you look at me
Don't tell me you love me
It makes me think you think I don't believe you
Tell me you love me
With those words
I can live forever
And need nothing more

darker days

It used to be different
It used to be good
Things are different now
But I wish they weren't.
Part of it I brought on myself.
I left you
But I can't bring myself to regret it.
Not really, anyways.
You live your life and I live mine
What else is there?
I'm sorry there was pain
But it's not something we could have avoided
It's just what started
Our Darker Days


After the shift
Everything was the same.
Everything still is.
I want it to change.
I'm tired of all the monotony.
How can we change this?
Do you realize that everyday being the same
Is just a waste of time?
There's nothing new,
Nothing Different.
Nothing to look forward to.
Wouldn't you be bored of that?
Tired of living?
I would.
So I want things to change.
In a good way, of course.
It couldn't get any worse
Than what is now.
Now isn't great
But what about tomorrow?
What about later?
All I can do is hope
For a better day.
I'll get it.

before and now

It's funny how Before
You knew what tomorrow would bring.
Everything was the same
But that was okay
Because that's what we wanted

Nothing was wrong with Before
But something happened
And now we're living in Now.

But what is Now looking like?
It's definitely different than Before
That's what we aren't sure of.
We walk blind into the hands of the future
Unable to fend for ourselves
And so we are weak

Now is where we make our path
Our path in our own lives.
Who will help us?
Where will we go?
Only time will tell.

Take a deep breath,
Don't forget to blink
And take life one step at a time


Dreams have a life all of their own.
They are your thoughts, your life in the unconcious.
They are what you want.
Sometimes what you need.
Nothing is what it could be if there are no dreams.
There is no could if there are no dreams.
Dreams are a quiet places.
But what happens when your dreams are gone
and nothing is there
to help you through